They go on the Cyclone first. I'm not allowed on because Im not 54 inches.
They leave me sitting on some fake bronco, like that's going to entertain me.
I hang out on the beach with my real friends, the seagulls.
After David and Michael get back, David tells me it wasn't so great and I shouldnt worry about it. He feeds me cheese fries.
We decide to ride the Wonder Wheel.
David is so scared he's nearly crying, but I'm not afraid. Its what, like, 150 feet tall? Psssht.
When we get to the top and the car starts to swing, its like flying!
Calm down, dude. It's fine. Were in a cage.
Then we go to get beers on the boardwalk.
I take a walk and a run into some guy whos got an alligator and a boa constrictor. I try to strike up a conversation. The parrot is kind of chatty but the guy just stands around and smiles a lot.
We all cuddle...what? Snakes are whatever like that.
More beer. Now it's Michaels turn to pick a ride.
He decides to go inside something called the Ghost Hole. Out front, there's this guy simultaneously vomiting water into a fake toilet and spurting it out of his behind. If that's what the ride is like, I'm not impressed.
I ride with Michael, because David is too scared. Hey look! It's a guy spurting water out his eyeballs! Creative, guys.
Michael thinks it would be funny to stick me next to this fake corpse, which is really fucking hysterical. It's weird but I swear the guys eyes moved.
Oh my god get me away from that thing let go of me help!!!
I wasn't scared.
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